Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day me!! And those of you who would read my blog if you knew about it. :) Today is special, because God is Love and He is Here! Jesus is my Valentine, and I pray today I'm able to pass on the love He has given me in REAL and Grounded ways. I pray He just flows through me and that I am content with not being perfect, not being able to be everything for everyone, and that I accept what I am and what I have been given graciously, hopefully, and faithfully.

I thought of a sort of story, so I'll see if I can map it out here.

A girl goes through something where she doesn't have a personality like she used to. She feels as if each day she makes it up, and it causes a lot of strife in her heart about who she is and what she's feeling. She seems to feel like she's different everyday, and she struggles to find balance and the ability to do the same thing everyday, out in the outside world.

She hides something from a woman in her life that is kind of the evil character. She makes up what happened in her head, and then can't remember what is true or what isn't. She meets a few guys, but none stick, not because they don't want her, but because she forgets about them and moves forward without really thinking.

Her mirroring: That someone has something she wants. Very badly. She wants to be able to act. Or so she thinks. She thinks, of course, she can use this as a gift. And so she conjures up the idea to act, giving herself a script to get through in a certain character. A guy she likes does it, and she wants to follow after him. She gets into the world and realizes she feels caged. The guys she was going after starts to look like a cage. She feels lost and unsure, unsteady in all that she had been laying down.

Then she sees another avenue. A guy maybe, or a group, something that has stability and looks like another form of freedom. A church group maybe. They seem to have it all together. But when she gets in there she sees they are all broken and in the midst of their own demons. She realizes there's no getting away from this demon. It is in choosing love, life, forgiveness every single day, that she will find the freedom she desires so badly.

What was she given? What are her players? Where is she and what's going on? Do I use my own story so completely? Do I only use it to inform the character and change a lot of things? I could do it in olden days, where the queens killed their stepchildren and the sisters hid the babies and the babies grew up to be kings and overthrow their evil step grandmothers. She could be in the palace, where she should feel the greatest joy and freedom, but where she dreams of being a person out in the town where it is more free and close to the earth. She could be in the town dreaming of the palace, and getting there, she realizes it's not what she wants.

Someone could mistake her for a princess and she could be whisked into the life she always wanted, only to realize its evil surrounding her. She could be in modern times...or maybe a parallel story in both! And they run into old time obstacles and modern troubles. Money, power, relationship, opportunity, and what that looked like in each culture, and age, and how it's all the same....

Hmmm...I like where this is going. Now to nail down some attributes about each of them, what surrounds them and mirrors them back to themselves.

This is my Valentine's gift to me! And I go to the Ballet and Faust on Sunday, Abby is going with me to Faust, that'll be fun. That's my VDay gift to myself. :) I'm quite happy with it. Thank you God for giving me that. I pray it is for your glory, even in my sad, human state.

Maybe one of the girls in my story, there could be 3 or 4, is in China, and one is in France...