Down Days

I think my "down days" are actually just "connected days." I think I've been living up as if it's the better of the two, but connected is better than disconnected. I am sad, feeling reverent, slow, painfull, and like I want to hurt myself or die. I think this means that I want to be alive. I just need to view it differently.

I don't like my neck today.
I don't like my shoulders.
I don't like my arms or my fingers.
I don't like my legs.
I don't like my hips, they feel heavy.
I don't like my hair, it's too short.
I don't like my mind, it's not happy.

I love my neck today.
I love my shoulders.
I love my arms and my fingers.
I love my legs.
I love my hips, they are real.
I love my hair, it is here.
I love my mind, it is active.

It's all in your mind. It's here. I want to focus and love when this comes. I want to yield to the waves so that I am more adept at dealing with what is real, because that is what the world works in. The real, the earthly, the messy, the sad and sullen, the outcast, the left-behind, the dead. It is made new and breathed onto again. I just need to be patient.