Eggs :(

Ok, so here's the deal. Because I have stopped eating a whole bunch of foods, I'm now quite intolerant of many of them and it's going to take a long time before my body can process them without shooting me in the neck.

I added in an egg yolk, or rather half an egg yolk, as well as some beef jerky today and yesterday. And let me just tell you, I want to shoot myself. My stomach and intestines are protesting so hard at me, making me constipated a little bit, giving me pain in certain areas, and please don't ask about what my mental state is.

Ok fine, since you asked. My mind is going carazyyy. I'm saying fuck and shit every other word, I'm not wanting to go out in public, I hate the people around me, I don't like my body but everything I do is also bad whether it's positive or not, I want to ring my own neck, and I'm INCredibLY irritated with the slightest things.

Example:

My sister texted me she wanted "chix" from the store. Now call me stupid or incompetent or not with the times, but I have no idea what chix is. So I ask her. And she doesn't answer. So I ask her again, and she says, "just whole foods chix." And I'm sorry, but, in my head, I went off the wall at her. I got so incredibly angry, I was swearing, yelling, and shaking my head, wanting to call and yell at her...but of course I didn't. Instead I got some "chix" and didn't even ask what kind she wanted. I got the sausage with tomato and basil, I got the cheddar cheese from raw milk, I got the green apples and ... something else I'm sure... I also got myself gum and a Synergy, raspberry flavored, and I love it.

I was thinking about things on my walk, and I don't want kids, not even adopting, I don't want a husband, I don't know what I want that isn't to "kix" somebody.

I know this'll pass, but gosh golly gee now I know why I took those foods out. I'm going to be going to the library today...or tomorrow. Hopefully I make it out without shooting anyone with the darts in my veins. Just walking up to them and killing them on the spot. UGH. Sorry world, I don't actually mean it!!!