Christmas

It's really quite terrible how bad I am at following through with my blog posting. I thought it would be pretty simple. Post a blog everyday no matter what. But if you don't have a schedule for it, and you let it go until the end of the day, and then the end of the day you are too tired to really write anything or even remember that you were supposed to, that's when it gets sad.

I've come up with a lot of ideas about stories I could write, all from reading dad's books. I want to write one about a woman who loses her children, wants to do something helpful over the holidays but doesn't know what, so she gets visited by a girl with an "eating disorder" who gives her the idea of getting the homeless to put on a play about the nativity. I think that would be a great story. Maybe I'd make it pretty short and then have the ability to have it be a coffee table read, then get the word out to all the girls and guys struggling against feeling like losers that they have ideas that can truly change the world. The story would have a lot of conflict, a lot of resolutions, but not a "happy ending" where everyone is saved and happy. It would simply be that everyone is changed and thinking forwardly and maybe even the girl dies or something...and that doesn't matter because the girl struggled for so long, but not with cancer. Everyone has freaking cancer nowadays and it's this glamorous disease that takes everyone's life...what is with that. But maybe her mom died of cancer and the girl has had two babies since then, and THEN she develops a really serious disease ... And I could fashion it after all the things I know to be true...hmmm. I like this idea.

Another idea I have is a mystery of sorts that unfolds and one of the scenes is a girl being led down into this basement and she doesn't have a good feeling about it, but she goes down there and she finds all this stuff that leads to believing the man is a photographer, or he is for sure a photographer, and things get out of hand and she isn't able to really get out of there except that her friend calls her right before anything happens happens, and the guy gets pushed out of his strange other-worldly comfort zone. I would like to write that. I would want it to be sort of like teen cult fiction and have the ability to span a few books. I think I want her to want to be a model and really toy with the eating stuff too, or at least be on the brink of sanity, be an introvert, and really like coffee but hate how some things make her feel. Meet a kind older man and his son and maybe feel a little drawn towards the son, but not want to get involved, always be on the verge of action but mostly not act and feel bad about that not action. She only acts on the things that lead her to other things maybe...

Humph! I like these ideas. They are flowing SO much easier than years ago when all I could think were yuck thoughts that kept me hating words almost as much as I hated my intestines. Thanks be to God I have been given His grace, and from that flows all things. Praise Him.

Hopefully I'll post more today/tomorrow so that I can start balancing out all the days I've missed. I'd like to have it be a year of writing every single day in the end, and from there just grow. Doesn't have to be a whole lot. But enough for me to be able to look back and watch my progress for once. I haven't been able to do that without guilt and shame and self-hatred for awhile now. Not only self-hatred, but also other people hatred.

I pray today goes smoothly and powerfully for Him, from Him, and of Him. In Jesus' holy and anointed name, AMEN!