Before the Day

Before the day gets too much away from me, I want to come here and make sure I've put some words down. Since I just finished watching an eating disorders video about 7th grade girls, I will have to comment on that. It's high in my mind and I have so many thoughts on it. (I don't really know if I "like" it...still processing).

Ok, so first of all, I'm glad there is a growing sense of acceptance around eating disorders...I guess...but actually no, because I feel like people have the complete wrong idea of it. It originates in the gut, not the mind, and one of the reasons it's running so rampant right now is because a lot of people are in the same eating category of eating things that are toxic to their bodies. Why would you want to throw things up? Why would that get out of balance in the first place?? Becuase there is an actual imbalance going on within the body. Maybe if we brought our children up on highly probiotic food, this would be a smaller issue. Food, of course, corresponds with what we are taking in visually and emotionally and mentally. The high sugary society, the highly processed society, craves the highly processed images. I think it is the people with eating disorders that are actually LEADING the country to a place of health, rather than the country helping them OUT of it. The eating disorder itself can be the leader in my mind. It is a voice crying out in the sea of crazed, frenzied actions, shoving food and stimulations in, forcing them out...the eating disorder FORCES people to take note of what they are doing, listen to their body, listen to the things around them, and get in touch with them.

Other people are found in other ways. Addictions, porn, cigarettes, pot, drugs, alcohol, relationships...all the human things we get involved in that intoxicate our systems, these are the very things that cause us to run to God and ask Him for help. He finds us in our weakness, like babies asking for his manna milk. He is something bigger that cannot be explained in a magazine, that we can't fit into one meal, that we can't get out of our systems. He is in every living, breathing cell here, and He ends up guiding and nourishing us in the way that helps us live each moment for Him.


I think eating disorders are really a gift. Thank God for them. I am thankful I have it. It is my friend that ends up leading me to God. And God has promised to be faithful and I believe in that promise. No matter what "science" or doctors say. They've been brought up on the same stimulation and information as me, and look at where that can lead...I think it's time to come inside and let these changes happen for good.

Anyways. Those are some of my thoughts.

So I feel like I am slowly being drawn, very completely throughout my heart, mind and body, away from the world of photoshop and modeling. I want to stand for Truth and Beauty in the most beautiful sense. Where we accent and praise with our strengths, but more importantly, we allow our weaknesses to point us toward Him.




“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!”