The month of August

Wow, the month of August has gone by incredibly quickly. 17 days have passed since I've posted last, and it looks like the next week is going to be quite busy. I will be going and going, just like I've wanted for so long.

So, I know that in a few years I will look back and not even be able to recognize the sick little girl I was, and that things are going to roll a little bit more smoothly from here on out. I've begun to have more ability to move about, do, think, and just generally be on my feet than before when I was just starving for nutrients. Now I am of a semi normal weight and I can feel my health returning. I'm not sure if I ever looked like Nichole, but I am glad I am not in her shoes right now. There's a great fight being fought on the battlefront by the incredibly thin women of the world, and right now I find myself in a different position. I am not merely surviving as much as I was before, I am thriving a teensy bit better.

All because of God's work in my heart. I think ... I can't imagine what and where I would be if I were just left to my own help. God has guided me so perfectly to where I am, and I pray I get the chance to praise Him everyday, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how joyful I get, no matter what comes my way, I pray that it be for His glory, and that I learn more and more how best He is pleased in pleasing me. I pray that I learn to follow Him.

So I haven't done any of the journaling prayers that I've been supposed to do for my devotional, so I'm going to journal a prayer right now.

Dear Lord, You are ... you are the wind when it peaks to me. You are the rocks that cradle me so steadfastly. Yu are the ground that feels so good beneath my feet. You are the morning rain when it splashes against things and makes the clouds light up and the noises that fill my ears as I go about my daily routine. You are the food taht I put into my body, living in each of the things taht come into my cells and make me up. You are the knowledge that educates me on things of your nature. You are the democracy that lives in today's world. You are the hope in something more, and you are the faith that it will happen when it comes under your wings. You are the one who keeps me close even when I kind of wander off. You are the energy that I do not have and the water that fuels my cells that I don't always get. You are this journey that brings me to places I have never been. You are the little girls' blue green eyes and the Indian man's easy going nature. You are Manish's goodness and Roxanne's desire for good. You are Denise's fostering care and Scott's upbeat, winsome personality. You are my language and my heart speaking to others. I pray that you imbue my language with the fruits of your knowledge. I pray you come into my eyes and break down the barriers and open up the very sweet figs and dates of my soul so I can share in the beautiful bounty you have promised. I pray any Jericho's in my heart are marched around for 7 days and they are fallen down, and that my Rahabs would be saved from pillaging and looting and being raped. I pray that my kings would listen to your prophets and that you would show me what is true and what is trying to pull me down. I pray that I be comfortable with my imperfection, but never let go of my desire to please you in new ways and experience more of your beauty on this earth. I pray that you would show me how to love you and be with you. And how BEST to pass this love along to others, without judgement. Without hatred or malice. I pray that people like Bear come into my life and be the lights that I look for. I praise you for Bear and I pray you bless him immensely. Give him light, love, and more people to fill his heart with joy. He makes me smile so much. I am so thankful for him. :D Thank you Lord Jesus.