Guilt and Forgiveness' Freedom

So I realized that this whole thing with the babysitting mishap is actually a reconstruction of the original lesson that I would've learned back at 16 when I quitted babysitting so abruptly.

That's where I went wrong, at such a young age, not knowing any better.

And now, with this new situation, I can SEE more clearly. I can SEE the problems and what I can do with them and what I can't do with them. I can come into contact with my responsibility in the matter and mend what I can, and let the rest be the past. I can walk forward in confidence only by the Grace of God.

It may seem trivial to some, but the pains of a mother are so vivid to my little heart, ever since childhood, when I would feel my mother, so wrapped up in the newest child, and I would need her oh so badly because every child does, and from that I would help with the sobbing baby. I would hold them and calm them, and through that I received the warmth I needed.

But now, as an adult, I cannot continue to make that my means of receiving love, and for that reason alone, learning that lesson, I am glad the events came about as they did.

I will write more later when I get home...