Sunday market

So I did the Sunday market today, with Scott, Denise, Josh, and Ryan. I feel tired and unsure of myself. I feel as if my mind is a veritable den for the evil surrounding us.

Stay alive inside. He's coming.

Carl Edmonsun died today. He was a boy I went out with for a day to make Josh Doyle jealous before 6th grade when we first moved to Colorado.

I don't know how to ... deal with it other than to hope this means something for me. How selfish! Crazy, the human mind. My human mind. It says, maybe that is a sign that it is finally being resolved: this strange feeling toward having sex and relationships.