What my soul says

What my soul says is being sussed out by the experiences of today. I have so many desires and so many things that are happening or not happening. I am modeling today for Laura Tanzer. The basics of modeling and the desire to be a model or not are being worked out through the impending doom that looms before me. It is only doom because I'm working today at the roastery in the morning and then I have to maybe skip French class to do it. I don't like skipping French, as it has been one of the exciting things of the past few weeks. I wanted to keep it and my mind is telling me all sorts of crazy things because of it.

I am also trying different foods and things, and because I ate a whole salad the other day I had these stomach pains and a lot of gas. It wasn't too bad as compared to before and seeing as how much I ate. But now I'm hungry for EVERYTHING. It's like, as soon as I put that in my body my body is asking for more, more, amore!!! :) And I don't know what to give it or in how much...it makes me want to be more able to make these dishes that I find on Oh She Glows etc and I want to be one of those women who takes everything in stride and is able to feast and famine, laugh and cry, live on the watery edge of blood every month, and be able to do all of that iwth the countenance of a Proverbs 31 woman. I want to be the model woman, not a model necessarily. Although, we shall see today, I might like it.

I think I'm a little over getting the "oh you're so pretty!!" vibe from old ladies and men and getting the "I shan't talk to you" from younger women. I just want us all to live in harmony again. :)

So today, as I head out, I have to decide where I will go...the hairdressers or French, before my modeling and after work. At least I will make 75 dollars from today, and 60 from working with Scott. I shall have to email Christine. :( I don't like missing!! But I will.